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 Raaaaaaaaaaage, I'M STILL DOING IT WRONG!!
Xenomancer
post Dec 5 2008, 04:57 PM
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I breathe. No effect.
I concentrate. No effect.
I meditate. No effect.
I make reaffirmations in the mirror. No effect.
I tried rubbing essential oils on me. No effect.
Making tinctures? No effect.
Spells? Nothing.
Simple prayer: Nothing.
Started Exercising: Nada
Changed my diet: ZIP
Quit smoking: NOTHING

I swear I feel like this right now: (IMG:http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p130/thexenomancer/RAAAAAAAAAGE50.jpg)

I STILL CAN'T ASTRAL PROJECT AND I AM PISSED.

I'm so disenchanted with my failed attempts that my basic system of belief in metaphysics is starting to dwindle. It's almost as if I have contracted a horrible curse that keeps me from practicing magic, receiving the benefits of magic, or bestowing blessings upon others. The same goes for psionics, divination, everything: It's all going down the shitter and making all my attempts feel like this:

(IMG:http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p130/thexenomancer/fail.jpg)

I am just about on the precipice of my stress threshold with this, and I swear if I run into any more bullsh*t, I'll just pop one of these!

(IMG:http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p130/thexenomancer/fukitol.jpg)

I'm about to pull the plug and give up on magic for good. I don't care anymore. Nothing works. And no one has been able to help worth crap. I think waiting about five years worth of metaphysical research is enough to start projecting. Hello!? Immortal beings out there?! I AM MORTAL AND MY TIME IS SHORT! WHERE'S MY BLESSING NOW!?

I swear, if there are beings out there stressing patience, understanding, wisdom, etc... they are arrogant bastards that don't give two sh*ts about humanity or the human mortal condition. They obviously don't know what it's like to be mortal, otherwise they would be bestowing blessings left and right, realizing that our immersion experiences are what count in human existence. Makes me wonder, if the universe is all-benevolent, and the actions of such beings are malevolent, could it be that they are non-existent at all? I'm starting to sound a lot like an atheist now. Man, I'm so pissed. Anyone else out there share my rage? Or have comments? I am very open to them right now, at least I feel more open to the comments of other humans than I do those arrogant pieces of sh*t gods that don't care worth crap of what I have to say, think, or do. At least I know that on the other end of the computer, there's a human criticizing me. At least that human is real.

...can you handle the rage?

I am so glad that I posted this in fight club.


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¡HA HA! ¡ESTOY USANDO EL INTERNET!
-Never learn the Art of Sword before the Art of Dance. - Celtic Proverb
-Even with spiritual power, an unchecked ego will only seek to deify itself. - Frank MacEowen
-One cannot traverse waters without causing waves. - Xenomancer
-I find it interesting that we as scholars of metaphysics have no problem discussing the intricacies of the threads of reality, but when it comes to the things that really matter, we forget them. - Xenomancer
-This world is your home. We have a mix of everything here. If you want better, make better. There's no rule of going elsewhere for the tools. That's what magick is about. - Xenomancer

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Praxis
post Dec 5 2008, 06:20 PM
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I suggest that you put aside attempting to astral project for a while.

Now, make no mistake: I am not saying that you should completely give up magick here. I am simply suggesting that you shift your focus for a while away from astral projection toward a far more personal and interpersonal kind of magickal endeavor.

I suggest that you consider pursuing ways to use magick for working on spiritual growth - according to ways that temper the mettle of your character and refine how you masterfully engage relationships (on all levels) in your life. Meditation for presence, energy work for establishing clear conduits for the flow of your attention, selected invocations for magnifying specific qualities, etc... all of those can be magickally done and geared toward fulfilling such theurgic achievements.

The fruit of such magickal labor will be obvious and impactful both for you and for anyone who relates (on any level) with you.

This post has been edited by Praxis: Dec 5 2008, 06:27 PM

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Xenomancer
post Dec 5 2008, 06:34 PM
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QUOTE(Praxis @ Dec 5 2008, 07:20 PM) *

I suggest that you put aside attempting to astral project for a while.

Now, make no mistake: I am not saying that you should completely give up magick here. I am simply suggesting that you shift your focus for a while away from astral projection toward a far more personal and interpersonal kind of magickal endeavor.

I suggest that you consider pursuing ways to use magick for working on spiritual growth - according to ways that temper the mettle of your character and refine how you masterfully engage relationships (on all levels) in your life. Meditation for presence, energy work for establishing clear conduits for the flow of your attention, selected invocations for magnifying specific qualities, etc... all of those can be magickally done and geared toward fulfilling such theurgic achievements.

The fruit of such magickal labor will be obvious and impactful both for you and for anyone who relates (on any level) with you.


Take the reading level of what you said down a few years. Then repeat. Remember, I can be likened to a watered-down, ill-tempered version of Vagrant Dreamer (just kidding about the Vagrant Dreamer part)


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¡HA HA! ¡ESTOY USANDO EL INTERNET!
-Never learn the Art of Sword before the Art of Dance. - Celtic Proverb
-Even with spiritual power, an unchecked ego will only seek to deify itself. - Frank MacEowen
-One cannot traverse waters without causing waves. - Xenomancer
-I find it interesting that we as scholars of metaphysics have no problem discussing the intricacies of the threads of reality, but when it comes to the things that really matter, we forget them. - Xenomancer
-This world is your home. We have a mix of everything here. If you want better, make better. There's no rule of going elsewhere for the tools. That's what magick is about. - Xenomancer

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bym
post Dec 5 2008, 08:11 PM
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LOL!
You DO have a sense of humor! Never lose that!
Seriously, perhaps a good dose of Fukitol couldn't hurt. I took about twenty years off to fall in love and have a family. Magic is always there but when you start trying to force it, it recedes at an alarming rate!
My own way of dealing with setbacks magical is to preoccupy my mind with escapist literature or totally mundane tasks. Don't look for hidden meanings, don't attempt evo/invo-cations. Keep your mind active and eat properly, get plenty of quality rest and PLAY....we do tend to forget to play. Kids are usually operating quite close to a magical frame of mind...learn to visit your inner kid. STOP worrying about results! Learn about YOU. Forget Astral Projection...it is something that usually happens spontaneously most of the time and you just can't schedule serendipity! Why get so flustered? I've been studying (off and on) for over 60 years now and usually get the most startling results when I'm not actively seeking them! (A parallel example is when my dear sister tried for YEARS to get pregnant and failed miserably...until she said, "f%*! it!" ZAP! Instant pregnancy. Give Sisyphus a break and go about doing something else for awhile. It's like casting a sigil spell...you have to forget it in order for the subconcious to work on it!
Read up on some good (or not) magical fantasy fiction and let your strained brain relax. I know that your efforts haven't been wasted and so do you....but you need to let things find their niche and you have to stop being a control freak about yourself! Take two Fukitol and call me in the morning! We mages need to play alittle else we start taking ourselves entirely too seriously! This is why I love my shamanism. It helps me to see just how absurd the human condition can be and I've learned to laugh at myself! The gods know that there is something viscerally humorous about a fatman like myself trying to look or be serious whilst slipping on a banana peel!
Be of good cheer my friend! I've great rtespect for your work but even you need a break from the grind sometimes! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/banana.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/horse.gif)


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Xenomancer
post Dec 5 2008, 09:51 PM
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QUOTE(bym @ Dec 5 2008, 09:11 PM) *

LOL!
You DO have a sense of humor! Never lose that!
Seriously, perhaps a good dose of Fukitol couldn't hurt. I took about twenty years off to fall in love and have a family. Magic is always there but when you start trying to force it, it recedes at an alarming rate!
My own way of dealing with setbacks magical is to preoccupy my mind with escapist literature or totally mundane tasks. Don't look for hidden meanings, don't attempt evo/invo-cations. Keep your mind active and eat properly, get plenty of quality rest and PLAY....we do tend to forget to play. Kids are usually operating quite close to a magical frame of mind...learn to visit your inner kid. STOP worrying about results! Learn about YOU. Forget Astral Projection...it is something that usually happens spontaneously most of the time and you just can't schedule serendipity! Why get so flustered? I've been studying (off and on) for over 60 years now and usually get the most startling results when I'm not actively seeking them! (A parallel example is when my dear sister tried for YEARS to get pregnant and failed miserably...until she said, "f%*! it!" ZAP! Instant pregnancy. Give Sisyphus a break and go about doing something else for awhile. It's like casting a sigil spell...you have to forget it in order for the subconcious to work on it!
Read up on some good (or not) magical fantasy fiction and let your strained brain relax. I know that your efforts haven't been wasted and so do you....but you need to let things find their niche and you have to stop being a control freak about yourself! Take two Fukitol and call me in the morning! We mages need to play alittle else we start taking ourselves entirely too seriously! This is why I love my shamanism. It helps me to see just how absurd the human condition can be and I've learned to laugh at myself! The gods know that there is something viscerally humorous about a fatman like myself trying to look or be serious whilst slipping on a banana peel!
Be of good cheer my friend! I've great rtespect for your work but even you need a break from the grind sometimes! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/banana.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/horse.gif)


LOL, I guess I got careless again, and experienced a second burnout! Yeah, it's been ages since I've had a good book to read.

Ok, Dr. Bym, 2 Fukitol, and I'll even down it with a good Meade. Thank you so much. It takes a real friend to point out when another is going off the deep end. Thank you (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)


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¡HA HA! ¡ESTOY USANDO EL INTERNET!
-Never learn the Art of Sword before the Art of Dance. - Celtic Proverb
-Even with spiritual power, an unchecked ego will only seek to deify itself. - Frank MacEowen
-One cannot traverse waters without causing waves. - Xenomancer
-I find it interesting that we as scholars of metaphysics have no problem discussing the intricacies of the threads of reality, but when it comes to the things that really matter, we forget them. - Xenomancer
-This world is your home. We have a mix of everything here. If you want better, make better. There's no rule of going elsewhere for the tools. That's what magick is about. - Xenomancer

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Mchawi
post Dec 20 2008, 07:19 AM
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Know how you feel.... have been having trouble meditating for the past few weeks now, can't seem to sit in a seated position without shifting around constantly and its messing up my practice... or I'm allowing it to mess up my practice. Think my knees need a break but I've been streaching and sitting in asana for three years now and should be able to sit for half an hour. Planning on adding a 10 minute meditation set before ritual to clear the air, bought myself one of these;



And one of these;



The chair has taken three weeks to turn up so far, still not here... the clock took a month but finally made it... good as its a progressive waking thingy, Gave up on astral stuff a while ago... writing down your dreams helps though.


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Kupov
post Jan 19 2009, 12:36 PM
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Nobody can have any contact with the nonexistant astral plane, consider yourself lucky that you do not bog yourself down with self delusion.

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Lord_Vahn
post Aug 4 2009, 11:00 AM
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hey, its nice to know that we all encounter these set backs from time to time. deep breaths and breaks to reflect on what we have learned are often times just as helpfull as rolling up youre sleves and atempting the rites and rituals i'm sure everyone out their has is or will experience this clusterF*ck of fruastration
best wishes though i know nothing anyone says will truly quell that frustration untill you've met youre means...

and as far as astral projection goes i normally fall asleep when i try it so i kinda sorta dont lol

anywho best of wishes


--------------------
All who wander are not lost,
On our quest for knowledge we simply take different roads
but together through understanding study and deiligence
we can work toward our unique dreams and goals.
united by a our thirst for knowledege
it is my hope and dream,
that by our combined power
we can build a briliant future
for a greater spiritual world.
wishing you the best on your own spiritual journey
Lord Vahn Bieale De La Exodus.

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esoterica
post Aug 5 2009, 07:20 AM
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give yourself permission


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valkyrie
post Aug 13 2009, 11:28 PM
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all i know is projecting is a lot like falling asleep. if you try too hard you'll get insomnia.

plus...sounds like you are letting your frustration control your attitude when going into your sessions. bad idea man. getting too excited about anything will just ground you more.

but let me ask you this. are you at least aware that you are dreaming when you are asleep? cuz you need to work on calm lucidity first and foremost. besides some people speculate (think) that we all already project and that it is a simple matter of remembering what has already been happened everytime you sleep... and becoming more aware during sleep is always a bonus too.

also you subconsciously limit yourself when you say 'when will it happen, darn it nothing is happening' and because you think that way....it means you are not in the present and open to new experiences.


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Xenomancer
post Aug 15 2009, 03:20 PM
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QUOTE
all i know is projecting is a lot like falling asleep. if you try too hard you'll get insomnia.

plus...sounds like you are letting your frustration control your attitude when going into your sessions. bad idea man. getting too excited about anything will just ground you more.

but let me ask you this. are you at least aware that you are dreaming when you are asleep? cuz you need to work on calm lucidity first and foremost. besides some people speculate (think) that we all already project and that it is a simple matter of remembering what has already been happened everytime you sleep... and becoming more aware during sleep is always a bonus too.

also you subconsciously limit yourself when you say 'when will it happen, darn it nothing is happening' and because you think that way....it means you are not in the present and open to new experiences.

You know what there, you may be onto something.

What can I do to open my sense of awareness on a more basic, intuitive, and emotional level? Apparently, being conscious with the higher brain seems to keep people awake. Lucid awareness is a good starting point. I would look into that, if I knew where to start.


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¡HA HA! ¡ESTOY USANDO EL INTERNET!
-Never learn the Art of Sword before the Art of Dance. - Celtic Proverb
-Even with spiritual power, an unchecked ego will only seek to deify itself. - Frank MacEowen
-One cannot traverse waters without causing waves. - Xenomancer
-I find it interesting that we as scholars of metaphysics have no problem discussing the intricacies of the threads of reality, but when it comes to the things that really matter, we forget them. - Xenomancer
-This world is your home. We have a mix of everything here. If you want better, make better. There's no rule of going elsewhere for the tools. That's what magick is about. - Xenomancer

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valkyrie
post Aug 15 2009, 11:07 PM
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im not saying i am an expert, my no means lol. but my opinion? it comes more naturally if you are having fun and not forcing it.

but i do have a couple suggestions if you want to hear them: One way to work on your dream lucidity, is to throughout the day give yourself a really basic easy to remember easier to repeat silent question: Am I dreaming? the more often you ask yourself this, the more likely you are to repeat this action in an actual dream state. if you train yourself while you are awake to calmly identify your state of reality and awareness it will carry over into the dream world. im not saying you will instantly astral travel. i have a very difficult time myself traveling FROM a dream state even if i am lucid...but being able to tell the difference, and being able to exercise that particular mental state will help prep you for astral traveling. also its a LOT of fun when you finally get the hang of being lucid. you can do anything you like (i like to fly any chance i get)

also some people keep a dream diary...i don't bother i always just try to routinely remember what i dreamed of the night before. it doesn't matter if i remember it only matters that i tried to consciously remember. the more you do this, the easier it is to remember and the more vivid and detailed your dreams seem to be. eventually you will remember a couple dreams a night, and this self awareness will transfer into a dream state.

another thing people frequently do for both astral traveling and lucid dreaming is they use an alarm clock...to wake up at an odd hour, to stay up just long enough to become awake and aware and then they go back to sleep (in a different position or situation where your bodily sensations are heightened). for whatever reason this technique really does work quite well...but again if it doesn't work for you don't sweat it. more will come only if you work on what you already have.

This post has been edited by valkyrie: Aug 15 2009, 11:14 PM

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Lucifer
post Aug 20 2009, 01:31 AM
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I don't think you failed. You got closer.

You appear to be Projecting quite well in your posts above with all the images, are you sure you're failing?


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Xenomancer
post Aug 20 2009, 07:09 PM
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QUOTE

You appear to be Projecting quite well in your posts above with all the images, are you sure you're failing?



When I say "Astral Projection," I mean it to be defined as, "generalized projection of the centerpoint of one's consciousness to travel from being anchored to your body to another location temporarily, whilst retaining lucidity of the experience."

What you are referring to, to my above post, is simply good visualization, or a mental projection of sorts.


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¡HA HA! ¡ESTOY USANDO EL INTERNET!
-Never learn the Art of Sword before the Art of Dance. - Celtic Proverb
-Even with spiritual power, an unchecked ego will only seek to deify itself. - Frank MacEowen
-One cannot traverse waters without causing waves. - Xenomancer
-I find it interesting that we as scholars of metaphysics have no problem discussing the intricacies of the threads of reality, but when it comes to the things that really matter, we forget them. - Xenomancer
-This world is your home. We have a mix of everything here. If you want better, make better. There's no rule of going elsewhere for the tools. That's what magick is about. - Xenomancer

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esoterica
post Aug 21 2009, 10:16 AM
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a friend and i were talking about his not being able to get out, and i pointed out that if he could eliminate pain via thought (shifting his position within the body slightly, moving it further out), then he was probably out all the time and just living co-axially with his body - he is a very spiritually advanced person but had never astral projected - i smelled fear - he also had the other problem of not giving himself permission to wander off from his body - we are horribly aware of our tenuous connection and we are afraid to to leave our bodies lest we lose them, but by giving ourselves permission, and repeating the mantra 'i will go out of my body tonite, and i give myself permission to do it, and i will return to my body successfully' as we fall asleep, then we can break the self-imposed compulsion to remain tight to the body

it takes almost a whole month of thinking the mantra as you fall asleep before seeing any effect - minimum 21-28 days to start or break any subconscious anything

This post has been edited by esoterica: Aug 21 2009, 10:20 AM


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davisxmonster
post Aug 23 2009, 07:13 PM
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Xenomancer
post Aug 24 2009, 08:13 AM
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QUOTE(davisxmonster @ Aug 23 2009, 09:13 PM) *


(IMG:style_emoticons/default/respect.gif)


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¡HA HA! ¡ESTOY USANDO EL INTERNET!
-Never learn the Art of Sword before the Art of Dance. - Celtic Proverb
-Even with spiritual power, an unchecked ego will only seek to deify itself. - Frank MacEowen
-One cannot traverse waters without causing waves. - Xenomancer
-I find it interesting that we as scholars of metaphysics have no problem discussing the intricacies of the threads of reality, but when it comes to the things that really matter, we forget them. - Xenomancer
-This world is your home. We have a mix of everything here. If you want better, make better. There's no rule of going elsewhere for the tools. That's what magick is about. - Xenomancer

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