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 The Pure Naturist, A story I'm writing about magick, naturism, political corruption,
post Feb 1 2012, 10:38 PM
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The Pure Naturist is a story I'm writing that will revolve around magick, naturism, corrupt politics, and cultural brainwashing. The story kicks off with a baby lost in the woods after her parents crash their car. I don't know how realistic it is for a human baby to luckily survive in the woods independently, but it's a critical foundation for the rest of the story. The plot starts in 1990 and will continue up to atleast 300 years in the future. Because this girl is pure, having no corruption from human influence in her early childhood, she becomes in perfect harmony with nature, and through meditation and other steps along the way, learns how to control the powers of nature, such as gravity, fire, manipulating physical matter, and lastly, life which she can use to heal, change physical age, or alter genetics. This is a work is progress, but please let me know what you think as I go along, and feel free to correct me if my facts are off. I was thinking of including Steven Gough in the storyline, or at least a character similar to him. I hope to make it a movie someday. I've also made an effort to format the text so that it's easier on the eyes. After all, it is quite a bit.


Eric, Jane and their infant daughter rode through a British country area in their car. They were on a road trip to visit little Emily’s grandparents. Dense woodland populated the road as far as the eye can see, and beyond. The hours dragged on slow and the radio repeated previous songs from time to time, making the trip feel like a big loop in time. Jane drove as Eric sat passed out in the passenger seat. She checked on her daughter through the rear view mirror and continued along the tremendously boring straight road. She was starting to feel drowsy, but was near her parent’s house at this point. And so she pressed on, eagerly awaiting that turn at the end where their destination awaited just a kilometer beyond.

The sandman apparently ran out of patience and finally came for her just as she was close to the turn. And thus the car drifted into the other lane. Rumbling startled her back to conscienceness as the vehicle glided along the road’s exterior. But it was too late as she had lost control. They hit a ditch, flipped and tumbled down the hill, but not before sending the husband flying out the windshield. The passenger seat belt had never been used before.

The mother, seriously injured, summoned up all her strength to recover her senses. She struggled to get Emily out of the car seat, feeling exuberantly relieved that the baby suffered minor bruising.

Eric!” she called out in a hoarse voice. “Eric!” she repeated, but even more hoarse. The headlights were busted and it was too dark to see around. It was futile.

She was bound and determined to get her baby to safety. Weak, she stumbled down the hill, attempting to take advantage of a critical shortcut. Her will to live and her love for Emily was overpowered by the exhaustion of the ordeal. With vision and strength quickly fading, she fell to her knees, with Emily in her arms. Now she knew she couldn’t continue on, but applied all the effort she could to rotate her body, and fall to her back as not to crush the baby. Try as she might to avoid it, Jane’s eye’s finally closed.

Emily, confused and crying, looked at her mother for a time. As typical for a baby, curiosity eventually got the better of her, and she began to crawl toward some mushrooms in a cave just big enough for her to fit through.

The next day, an ambulance arrived at the scene. As they searched, they found the father, not far from the car.

“Bag him.”

Shortly after, they found the mother.

“Wait! We got a live one here.”

The following day, the local newspaper covered the story of how a married couple lost control of their stationwagon and crashed into a ditch, detailing the demise of Eric and the struggling process of Jane’s recovery.


Emily, oblivious to human culture, lived out her days in lush woodland, finding mostly vegetation for food. Having grown up in this environment, she was adapted against illnesses and germs that would otherwise make most people terminally sick, as they are devolved through the lax living conditions of civilization. She was also climatized to the heat of summer and the cold of winter, despite having outgrown her baby clothes. In fact, she wasn’t even aware of the concept of clothing.

The forest animals, though not as human-friendly as domesticated animals, were not threatened by her and paid her presence no mind.

She admired the beauty of a deer standing in a meadow with sunlight shining through a gap in the trees. Another deer approached and mounted the first one.

“hmm?” she uttered. Without contact from other humans, she didn’t know any languages.
“uh…” She thought they were playing, especially after seeing how playful baby animals are with each other. It required her to witness other animals to understand the general concept of what was going on. As this was common in nature, she figured that it must be normal like eating, sleeping and excersise, and was nothing worth focusing on with any real intrigue.

Despite being all alone, she was actually happy, but maybe only because she knew of nothing else. But to her surprise, she saw something she had never before witnessed. Through a series of long weeds, further obstructed by a bit of a distance, she discovered another creature like her, but twice her size – An adult human woman. The woman was not able to see her, because her sense of sight was not nearly as evolved as Emily’s.

But she had to find out what her species was like. Emily was confused as to what was covering the woman’s skin. She assumed it was something that grows on humans as they grow up. She didn’t like it. It didn’t seem like the animals fur. It didn’t seem natural. She was scared as she approached, and considered turning back to the life she knew, until the woman took notice of her.

The woman was clearly a nun.

“Oh, God!” she panicked, “Dear girl, what on Earth happened to you?!”

Emily was confused. Are these the sounds that her species makes? What does it mean? Is the woman hungry? Emily also assumed at this point that all humans were like her and the nun. Emily wondered what the bulging in the woman’s chest was. She assumed it may have been a condition similar to when she once sprained her ankle and saw some swelling. She also wondered if her species did what the deer in the meadow did, but couldn’t figure out how that would work, because there was no opening in this strange woman's "fur".

A priest came up and shared the same shock as the woman.
“Good lord!”

At this point, Emily was very nervous. She couldn’t understand the words, but the emotion had some definition to her.

“Were you raped?” The nun quickly asked, based on her lack of clothing.
“It’s unthinkable what you must have been through. Who did this to you?!”

Now Emily was very nervous. The emotion she observed from their attention on her suggested to her that they were going to attack and eat her. She quickly turned, but the nun put her hand on her shoulder and said in a more soothing tone, “It’s ok, we want to help you?”

Emily was not used to such dynamic change of emotion like this. Her theories as to what was going on was numerous, but none were accurate.

“Can you speak?” the priest asked.
“Uh?” Emily muttered.

The sounds her fellow humans made were so much more diverse then that of the animals. At first she thought they were going to attack her, and now she thought they were doing a mating call.

“Poor girl, she’s traumatized. We need to call the police so they can do a rape kit on her to find out who’s been abusing this child. She can’t even speak!”

The police arrived and were shocked at the sight of a naked 10 year old girl. She wondered if it was normal for humans to freak out every time they meet a new human. Scared, she ran, but the police caught up to her.

In the medical office, the rape testing began. As they entered that strange thing into her, she wondered if this was her species’ version of what the deer was doing, which made sense to her at the time because every human she’s met so far had some type of creepy, unnatural fur cutting off their skin from the world.

NOTE TO SELF: Get a woman’s description of what sex is like to accurately depict what Emily may have assumed during the testing.

At this point, Emily assumed that this was indeed the same thing. But seeing how casual the animals were about it, she thought that this was nothing special, just another normal natural activity.
The church found her a home, of course occupied by strongly faithful servants of God. She couldn’t make sense as to why they put clothes on her. They partially limited her joint movements and felt overall awkward. They stayed wet longer then her skin when she went swimming. The clothes were just useless. But now she knew – human fur is removable and comes from a hoard called a store.


Having been part of human culture for 2 years, she learned their language. But the lifestyle always seemed twisted. Despite the fact that the church and religious groups were nurturing, their rules didn’t make sense.

“Why do we wear these clothes?” Emily asked her foster mother.
“Because people can’t just walk around wearing nothing. It’s wrong!”
“But their uncomfortable.”
“How are they uncomfortable? They fit perfectly on you.”
“They make it harder to climb things and get around in the woods.”
“Why on Earth would you want to do that. That’s for boys. Girls don’t do things like that.”

And so the conversation changed.

“Why do boys leave the toilet seat up? How can they sit on it like that?”
“They don’t. They stand when they pee.”
“How? Wouldn’t their geek-gee spray all over the toilet?”
“Don’t you talk like that! If you do, I’ll have to wash your mouth out with soap.”
“To clean your dirty mouth. I won’t hear any more of this filth, you hear?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Now go out and play.”
“Yes, ma’am.”

Emily went to the local lake to swim, one of her favorite pastimes aside from adventuring in the woods. Her foster father was enjoying a tan nearby, dressed in shorts and sandals.
“Hello, Emily. Are you enjoying your day?” They knew her real name through DNA testing, but because of the car accident 12 years ago, CPS considered her real parents unfit to raise their own child.
“It could be better.”
“Why’s that?”
“I’m confused on some things, but Betty won’t answer my questions.”

They had an understanding about the mom/dad concept because Emily has only been in their custody for a quick 2 years.

“Really, like what?”
“Like, why do we wear clothes? Especially you, now. Don’t you have to let the sun touch your skin to tan.”
“I do. I have a tan now.” He looks at his arms, chest, and legs.
“But what about under your shorts?”
“What about under my shorts?!” His tone changed to angry now.
“How does your geek-gee get tanned?”
“Where is this dirty mouth coming from all of a sudden? You don’t talk like that!”
“Look, it doesn’t matter because people don’t see that area anyways.”
“Because it’s bad!”
“It just is, damn it! What are you, a broken record? Why do you keep asking why?”

Realizing this conversation was going nowhere, she changed the subject.

“Can I swim without my clothes?”
“Why in the Lord’s holy name would you ever want to do that!”
“Because I swim better naked.” Emily quickly responded, as his eyes bulged with shame, “The water feels so much better against my skin and it’s a lot easier. Plus there’s no cramping of clothes against my skin when I try to move around.”
“That’s enough!” he yelled, his eyes bulged more and more after each passing sentence from Emily, “Don’t you know that it is against God to be without your clothes?”
“God didn’t seem to care when I was naked growing up. He didn’t even drop me a post card.”
“That it, we’re going to go see your foster mother right now!”

Betty was not expecting good news, that’s for sure. Witnessing Emily being dragged by her ear, she knew it was time to introduce the switch. This aggression reminded her of the nature of predators in the woods. Granted, most of them were too small to be a threat to her, but she understood what it meant to defend one’s life from hostile predators.

Just before the switch connected, she wiggled out of their grip and sprinted into the woods, never to look back again.


She thought she was fleeing a mortal threat, but what mattered to her now was she was finally free again! Free from the madness of her own kind. But now she was dealing with something new. Emily was starting to grow out her breasts. She didn’t know why or what her breasts were about. All her foster parents were willing to tell her was, “You learn about it when you get older. You are too young to understand.” So she was left to simply accept that if it’s happening naturally, it’s meant to be, and like her foster parents told her, she’s supposed to somehow understand on her own. Failing to understand, she wondered if this meant she was less intelligent then her fellow humans, that something may be wrong with her.

It was frustrating. She couldn’t make sense out of how something bad could happen from learning about her body and that of boys. She relaxed herself and her breathing to maintain concentration, sat down in an indian style, and spent a few hours thinking long and hard about it. What she didn’t realize was that she was actually meditating. Though she didn’t recognize this as meditation at the time, she did acknowledge that the technique helped her maintain her composure and concentration to better figure things out. She continued to meditate over the years.


United States President Ron Paul was giving a speech to address complaints from a minority of Americans who are often not taken seriously by the majority public – nudists. With her evolved sight, she watched it from a distance in the woods. By now she had done a lot of exploring and travelled far, mostly by woodland and rough terrain as to avoid contact with other humans whom she feared would attack her like her foster parents 13 years ago. What she was watching it on was some kind of small tv screen that can fit in a human hand, it seemed. The person watching was on a beach, along with several other people. But something was different…no one was wearing clothes. Maybe there really was a God! To see an entire beach full of people like her, people who didn’t feel the need for clothes.

She didn’t have to rake up much courage. After all, these people seemed like her. They didn’t seem ashamed of their bodies like she had seen with the church. So she approached an elderly man.

“Excuse me, sir, do you mind if I ask you a question.”
“Sure, go on ahead!” He was very polite, and Emily was even more relieved that this man had no reaction to her nudity at all. It was as if he couldn’t see her body at all. But his vision was clearly present as he made eye contact with her as he spoke.
“Promise not to get mad?”
“Depends. Are you going to ask me how old I am?” he said in a joking tone.
“Oh no, I wanted to know why everyone says that wearing no clothes is wrong,” she returned, preceeded by laughter. Then the old man laughed.
“Do you think that I believe that it’s wrong to be naked?”

Emily laughed at the rhetorical question.
“Well, maybe not you, sir, or anyone on this beach for that matter, but everyone else…”
“Because their idiots.”
“Are you really going to leave it at that? You’re asking me questions to help educate yourself, and you’re satisfied with a simple opinion that’s not backed up with facts?”
“Well my foster parents told me that being naked is wrong and that they say that’s a fact.”
The old man sighed.
“I’m sorry, sir,” she cried, “I didn’t mean to make you mad.”
“Mad? No, disappointed.”
“In me?”
“No, the people who raised you.”
“They’re church people. They worship God.”
“So does that mean that everything they do and tell you is right?”
“Well, they have been around longer then me, but it just doesn’t make sense to me.”
“Let’s get back to what I said about them being idiots. Why are you satisfied with a vague answer and no solid facts?”
“Every time I tried talking to them about things like nakedness, they told me I was talking dirty. And when I’d ask why it’s dirty, they always say that it just is. They wouldn’t even explain why that deer in the woods was on top of the other deer.”
“How old are you, kid?”
“Are you joshing me!”

There was a pause.

“I’m sorry, I’m not as smart as other people.”
“Bull****. I hate that attitude. Just because you’re not familiar with something doesn’t mean you’re not smart. It just means you need to learn, and there’s nothing wrong with learning. I’m still learning things to this day. But back to the point, do you really not know what sex is?”
“I never heard of it. Honest.” Then she looked down and found a surprise, “What is that?”
“April!” The old man called out to his granddaughter, sunbathing next to a man and another woman.
“What’s up, Gramps.”
“Don’t what’s up me! Could you help this girl? She’s been extremely sheltered as a child and is in dire need.”
“Oh…” April said in a concerned tone, “I’d be happy to help. What’s the problem.”

Emily was overjoyed! Finally, the world had become sane, at least in England. People were actually honest now. It was unbelievable. Not one, but 2 humans that are actually happy to discuss things that no one would touch on before. It was like she had been plucked into a new reality. But apparently, according to the speech on the little screen, Americans are still mentally disturbed.

“This young lady doesn’t know what sex is.”

Hours passed and Emily was pleased to be able to freely talk to people along the beach coast. No redicule, no hostility, just friendly and non judgemental interactions.

Finally before leaving the beach, she spoke to the old man one last time.
“I’d like to thank you for all your help. It really means a lot to me that you took the time to help me understand these things. But when sex came up, we did lose track of one thing.”
“You’re certainly welcome,” he nodded, “What did you have on your mind?”
“The thing you said about idiots being the people who hate nudity.”
“Ah, yes, I remember now. Do you know why I say they’re idiots?”
“Uh, no…”
“Have you ever heard of brainwashing?”
“Brainwashing is the event of changing another person’s beliefs or behavior. Young children are often the prime targets of brainwashing because of their imitation habits. Most of the people in this world have been brainwashed into thinking that the human body is disgusting, when in reality holds beauty they take for granted. And so, people have grown to be offended by the very sight of what’s down there, and what’s up there.”
“But it’s for breastfeeding babies, what’s wrong with that?”
“Some people think that’s sexual abuse.”
“But it’s perfectly natural. I’ve even seen animals do it.”
“Yes it is perfectly natural, and there is nothing wrong with it. In America, if you’re caught breastfeeding your baby, then CPS takes your kid away from you, and the police will take you to prison throughout the duration of your kids childhood and teen years.”

“Why?!” Emily cried in dismay, “How can they possibly think that’s bad?”
“It hasn’t always been like that. Around 2012, about three years ago, there was some controversy over it, but it became illegal in America last year. Women caught breastfeeding are sadly charged with child molestation and are required to register as sex offenders, which group them into the same criminal category as violent rapists. It makes no difference weather they do it in public or the sanctuary of their own homes. Looking up the criminal background of breastfeeding mothers yields back just 2 words that have become vague – sex offender.”

“That’s horrible!”

“America was founded by prudes, so it only gets more ridiculous from there. Granted, we were prudes too, but had grown up a little bit in recent years. Ron Paul’s trying to put a stop to this craziness, but Congress won’t endorse Mr. Paul’s bill.”

“How do these people stay in office?”
“Good question, but back to what I was saying before I got off track, the majority of the human world is brainwashed into thinking that genitals are nasty and nudity is lewd behavior.”

“What a ridiculous way to describe nudity? How is being in your natural state a behavior at all?”
“I’m glad you asked that question, Emily. It isn’t, and that’s why I call these people idiots – They are firm in their brainwashed beliefs, but since such principles are not logical, and they refuse to research the facts, they have nothing to back up their arguments, yet somehow, they still think that they’ve proven themselves right. For example, when textiles…”

“Textiles?” Emily repeated, unsure.
“People who live in their clothes religiously.”
“That can’t possibly be healthy for the skin.”
“It’s not. Wearing clothes all the time weakens the body’s ability to control it’s temperature, thus declimatizing the person. How is your tolerance to cold and heat?”
“Actually, really quite well, to be honest. I’ve never felt cold or hot my whole life.”
“”…oh…ok, well that’s good for you, but most people don’t have that tolerance, but back to what I was saying, look down and tell me what you think about what you see.”
“I see your penis. From what I understand learning from the other beach goers, it’s circumsized. It looks like it’s taken the beating of time.”

There was a pause.

“Do you feel the slightest bit of offence or disgust by it?”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to touch it, but seeing it is no worse then seeing somebody get beaten or killed by a longshot. Besides, everyone grows old eventually and gets the same treatment from Mother Nature.”

“My point exactly. This thing doesn’t even work anymore. But what’s so incredible about society’s brainwashing is that a lot of people actually think just the opposite of what you said.”
“That makes no sense.”
“Exactly! Which is why I call these people idiots.”
“With that said, I think you’re quite valid in that opinion.”

“And the worst thing is that victims of brainwashing tend to share a uniform opinion, reinforced by other people’s opinions, not their original ones. Uniformity is not natural in a state of personal preference. You won’t see uniformity in human shape, gender, stars, planets, anywhere. Not naturally, anyways.”

Seemingly educated to her needs, she left the beach to learn more and more about the world she lives in. But what Emily failed to realize was that nudism happened to be permitted on that beach, but not in residential and business areas.

Stand strong for what's true in your heart, your mind and your soul. Be different. Be true. Be real.

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Vagrant Dreamer
post Feb 2 2012, 09:10 AM
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Do some research into feral children, first and foremost. Then possibly take a look at something called Dramatica. It's extremely helpful for people who aren't well educated about writing theory, and even for some people who are.

As it is, children who grow up wild, do not adjust in two years, you haven't taken into account the reality of that situation. They also don't come back from it innocent of human values - they come back as animals who have managed to survive on their own by relying on the instincts of a prey-animal mentality. They aren't curious about people for a long time, mostly they are terrified. Usually they do not learn to speak because those brain centers atrophy in the wild.

As a concept I think it's not terrible. If you haven't already, read Stranger in a Strange Land. There are thematic similarities.


The world is complicated - that which makes it up is elegantly simplistic, but infinitely versatile.

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post Feb 3 2012, 05:27 PM
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I agree, it's a bit hard for baby's to grow up in the wild.
Maybe add a fantasy element to retain plausibility, have her raised by fairy's, learning to talk to animals like jungle book.
without an element of language the growing up phase would be hard to write while being interesting, add a variety of interesting none human charactors
make an early love interest before meeting humans, have it fairly lovely with a tragic ending.
Que rocky training scene.
Also introduce an interesting enemy for her childhood to be more interesting.
Don't make it to sexy too early, but make it violent enough to counter the airy fairy side.
Introduce humans in their spirit form first and don't make it obvious their dead, then make it dramatically obvious a bit later.
Que rocky training scene.
when the live ones turn up make it violent an disgusting, add lots of death.
draw out the tragedy of being made to adopt human life, then add some happy sexy bits, let it get tragic again, have a big chase chapter back to the woods.
let her be happy in the woods for a few years then introduce a wonderful human love element, make it last long and describe it all in horny detail, make him leave becuase he has to do something human.
Que rocky training scene.
then a few years later she's gona want to go find him, let the mystical culture-shock hilarity commence.
she finds him dead or with another women; tragic then angry then lots of violence; calm an contemplative; maybe drags a few men back with her.
years pass by an they die of old age or something.
End's with her simply pitying us lesser mortals.

I don't really know, just ideas.
As long as you got taboo sex, extreme female violence, lovely magic, nasty magic, character progression, plot twists, lots of passionate emotional roller-coasters and a few 'outside perceptions of what a crazy world WE live in' moments your onto a winner.
Perfect teen steam, vampires werewolves an wizards are already done, a strong feral female character trained by fairy's is a good choice IMO (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

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post Feb 6 2012, 10:37 PM
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As the story continues, she does eventually get locked up for not wearing clothes. The current issue I'm struggling with is the feral child concept Vagrant Dreamer mentioned. I need to figure out how she can be free in the wild in her youth and adjust to human culture and be able to remember who she really is. I don't want to introduce the magickal element too soon. It's supposed to be a surprise to her. Upon imprisonment, she deals with adversity from cellmates. I'm not sure exactly which direction this is going to go yet, or if she will make friends in prison. But one thing is for sure. She escapes with the use of magick. I'm not sure yet how this will come to be. It will probably be the result of the termoil, and maybe she will involuntarily make something happen like manipulation of fire or gravity. I do know that the life element is the final thing she learns much later in the story, which is why she never grows old. This is how the story continues for 300+ years. Also, immediately after her escape, Jay Raptor shows up for a quick and mysterious commentary. Jay is the Elemental God of Gravity who is notorious for showing up out of nowhere to check in on people with newfound powers to make sure that they are not corrupted, and then just as mysteriously, disappear. Jay himself has his own backstory that involves a whole different saga, amongst the Elementals of fire, atomics and life. He rarely reveals who he truly is, letting people believe that he is an ordinary man, when in fact, is not remotely human at all. Jay acknowledges that the awakening of magickal powers can happen a number of different ways, but what concerns him is that Emily's dormant powers are the very essence of nature itself, which could lead her to becoming almost as powerful as the Elementals. Though there is one thing he does take comfort in - With her powers manifested from nature itself, Emily could lose her powers if corrupted by human culture.

At some point, I'm not sure when, she does come to America for some reason or another. It might be to right some serious wrongs, or maybe something else entirely. In the future, America has gotten bad, with prudes running the country. Body shame issues have gotten so extreme that people won't take showers anymore, favoring advancements in deoderant instead. It has gotten into their mind set that getting naked for any reason, even to shower, is sick in the head. Human reproduction happens in test tubes and the needs of sex are met with drugs instead of intercourse. The government releases the RFID chip to track it's citizens, and remotely releases the lethal dose of cyanide in criminals who run. When this information becomes mainstream, hackers hijack the chip and kill hundreds of thousands of Americans just to lower the job market competition. Terrorists take this same idea and increase the body count, decimating America to her darkest days.

I'm not sure yet how Emily approaches this situation as her powers grow later in the story. The Elementals are neutral. Their only concern is that nature itself does not get corrupted. Emily doesn't even learn about the Elementals til the end, or toward the end of the story.

As for fixing the story's foundation, I was thinking of leaving it as it was, but later on revealing something from her past. I'm not sure what that is yet, but it'll probably come to me as the storyline continues.

I have a vision of the entire story, but there is no room in the plot for fairies or mythical creatures, except for the Elementals. The story is supposed to have a real world theme with the integration of magickal abilites. I do not shun any unproven concepts like fairies, but fear that the inclusion of known mythical creature would carry the theme too far from the real world that I'm aiming for. One thing I need to figure out realistically is, like in the jungle book, if there's any possiblity of an animal taking care of a human baby, wheather it be by the animal finding the baby, or the baby stumbling unto the animal. When I do a creative project like this, I thrive on support from people expressing their opinions. I also rely on honest critique to correct me if I my writing is not accurate when it comes to depicting the reality portion. When a project gets no support, regardless of it's potential, I usually lose interest in it and leave it by the wayside. And so, I deeply appreciate your commentary as it makes a difference in the survival of this project. Thank you.

This post has been edited by Barnard: Feb 7 2012, 01:45 PM

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post Feb 7 2012, 03:49 PM
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Dude, i just loving chucking ideas out their you by no means have to pick them up, an being creative is fun so don't mind me if i take an un-serious tone (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

I believe in the fay but naturally their is very little info to go on an would be inaccurate as a result.

Maybe... her whole family was trapped in the burning car and as her mother protected her child from the slowly growing intense flames she became one with the fire to protect an love emily as her dyeing wish as she burnt alive.
giving emily psychokinetic control and healing ability through her mothers bound spirit.
That's plausible, hardly needs food, immune to anything and without need for clothing in any weather.

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post Feb 8 2012, 11:01 PM
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That's very clever to envision things working out like that. But as the beginning scene builds up to the tragedy of the crash, it is briefly mentioned that the mother survives:

Emily, confused and crying, looked at her mother for a time. As typical for a baby, curiosity eventually got the better of her, and she began to crawl toward some mushrooms in a cave just big enough for her to fit through.

The next day, an ambulance arrived at the scene. As they searched, they found the father, not far from the car.

“Bag him.”

Shortly after, they found the mother.

“Wait! We got a live one here.”

The following day, the local newspaper covered the story of how a married couple lost control of their stationwagon and crashed into a ditch, detailing the demise of Eric and the struggling process of Jane’s recovery.

That last part is brief and vaugue for a specific reason. To let the reader know that the mother survived, but not to empesize on it so that the reader will either forget that she survived, or overlook it completely. The struggling recovery part suggested that she may not survive, which leads the reader to move on with the story, especially since the mother hasn't been in the story long enough for any kind of emotional attachment between the reader and the character. The mushrooms that Emily finds in the small cave are also important. This suggests an opportunity to survive. And the fact that this cave was just big enough for her to fit through explains how the authorities never found her.

Also, the mother is expected to make a return later in the story, at which point readers can look back on the slight chance of her survival. Emily doesn't find out til later that the only reason her mother wasn't in touch with her after she was discovered by the church was because Child Protective Services took the crash as a reason to consider her unfit for parenthood, which raises money to their organization.

An additional surprise pops up when Emily eventually suffers adversity from her own mother in protest of her nudist lifestyle some time after they finally meet. Emily has a long road ahead of her, but no matter what, she refuses to sacrafice who she is to be accepted by her species, which is why she has so much respect for Steven Gough.

This post has been edited by Barnard: Feb 8 2012, 11:04 PM

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post Feb 9 2012, 09:54 AM
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It still needs some kind of super-natural event for the child to survive, or for a wolf or a bear to intervene or something.
Baby's die very easily.
An if you find a super-natural event that fits it would be prudent that the same event was responsible for any of her magical ability (specifically her cold resistance)
While, like you, i believe that natural born are better equipped for magic i also believe that the over-whelming need for basic survival skills would usually over-power the development of magical skills.

I think when writing a good story you need to be prepared to scrap the lot every step of the way, it's the only way to attain the quality to make it worth it.
Read up on how star-wars got created on wiki, he wasn't a very talented writer but managed to do alright because he re-wrote it from the ground up countless times.

Maybe the Great Tree spirit Kuntainas whose roots she climbed into took pity on her so protected and nourished her with the flesh of the ancient Fungal Lord Barasima in order to stop the prophesied destruction of their home.

Don't cling to hard on any idea when getting creative an don't let them go to waist,
make an event board or something, so you can put all you have in their, add as much as you like and chop an change everything until it you got something epic.
If you do it right, it won't be like anything you can imagine once it's done..

The prospect of a book so packed with the compulsion to rip off all your cloths is a wonderful one that will make fantastic gifts for all my female friends (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

Best of luck dude.

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post Feb 14 2012, 06:10 PM
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Actually, I finally got her survival covered. I revised the beginning to change her age, added some extra events in the beginning and wrote an additional 9 pages. Sometime after that 9 pages (I'm almost to the part where she gets locked up as mentioned before), the Elementals are introduced, which is right after her first 'magickal awakening'. Then there will be a flashback to that beginning that will explain what unseen force has changed her doomed fate. When I reach that point, I'm going to stop writing and start animating the movie. When the movie catches up to the script, I'll be updating both equally. Afterall, the movie can't exist without the script.

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post Feb 15 2012, 04:49 PM
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This isn't the last of it. There's more to write before starting the animated movie. The idea is to catch up the movie to the script and then publish it as a demo to the full length movie in production. I've also revised the previous writing to reflect corrections to the writings' flaws, though not much has changed aside from correction of the timeline, her age (she starts at 3 years old instead of infant) and the addition of a wolf scene. Later in the story, past where this post ends will be a clear explanation as to how Emily has survived, as well as other minor events like the TV in the store being on after business hours, as well as the mysterious event of the meteor. Even though they don't appear to be at the time, those events are magick related. I would have edited these updates into the first post if the option was available.

Chapter 5: Alliance

Having never been in the city before, she explored the outskirts. There were few people out and about, but with being close to the nude beach, most of them were nudists.
“Hey, why is that girl leaving the beach without her clothes on?” a woman said to another woman in the distance.
Emily noticed them watching, but they didn’t seem alarmed, so she paid them little mind.

“She’s probably one of those dare devils. I think she’s getting an adrenaline high from it.” The other woman responded.
“Either that, or she’s looking to get arrested to get a place to stay. That’s what a lot of homeless people are doing these days. After all, if you’re a peaceful person, what better way to get arrested then by doing something completely harmless?”
“Yea, that’s pretty much it. Smart thinking on her part, though it is a waste of tax-payer money.”
“Tell me about it. I don’t understand why they continue to waste money to enforce things that aren’t even hurting society. It actually pisses me off.”
“If I was in charge, I’d focus our budget and police attention on detecting and stopping theft, violence and murder, not harassing people minding their own business. That would lead to people getting more out of their paychecks and a better economy. It’s just retarded! I’d give a big f%*! you to all the liberals who bitch about stupid shit.”
“Now I know you’re never getting elected for anything.”

A pause.

“Well, when she does get locked up, chances are that they’ll bunk her in with a serial killer and call them equal.”
“(Sigh) What is our world coming too?”

Emily walked further from the beach. She loved the beach, but the drive to educate herself pushed her to explore these new boundaries. Approaching the glass window of a store, she saw a TV playing. Though the store was closed, apparently someone had left one of the TVs on. It was another broadcast displaying American news.

“The hacker and terrorist epidemic is at an all-time high,” the news reporter on the TV said.

A fully dressed man approached Emily.
“Back from the beach, eh?” He had the same accent as the woman reporting the news in America.
“Yea. Were you there too?”
“No, I don’t go to that beach.”
“Does British television always show American news? It just seems irrelevant.”
“We look to the Americans as the example,” the man said as he was staring at her butt. She was facing forward glued to the TV. The man then started looking at her breasts, until she took notice.
“Are you offended by what you see?”
“Oh no,” he said, “Not at all.”
“Is there something wrong with my body?” she asked.
“No, it’s perfect.” He quickly responded, clearly lacking thought.
“Why were you staring?” she questioned.
“About the American news, we look to them as the example of what not to be.”
“So, Americans don’t blatantly stare at people?” she asked in a matter-of-fact kind of tone, making eye contact.

There was a pause. He returned the eye contact.

“They don’t do nothing, not anymore. They’ve had no concept of nature since 2017,” he said, finally putting some thought into rationalizing his optical actions.
“But to be honest,” he continued, “I think you’re hot!”
“I don’t feel hot.”

Another pause. It was clear that this man realized that she was uneducated, which to him, meant that she may adapt to his particular cultural mindset.
“No, I mean hot as in sexy.”
“I don’t follow. What do you mean by sexy? Does that have something to do with sex?”
“Sort of,” he paused, “The term hot comes from the association of lustful emotion emanating heat. And sexy comes from the kind of beauty that invokes sexual desire. You could say that a 10 year old girl is beautiful, but you most certainly wouldn’t call her sexy.”

“I was 10 years old once.” She said, at which point the man began to lose interest. If Emily had the mindset of a 10 year old, she had no place in his life or bed.

“That sounds intense,” she went on, “I don’t think of myself as sexy.”

A woman driving by in the distance had a 6 year old boy and a 5 year old girl in the car. The siblings were arguing about what was playing on the radio.
“Mom!” the little girl cried.
“What!” The woman exclaimed, irritated.
“I don’t want to hear this old Justin Bieber crap!” the daughter inhibited exclaimed.
“Yea, didn’t we leave America to get away from stupid shit?”
“We left because I refused to put our family in danger. I’m not letting the government put those damn chips in our skin. Now shut the f%*! up and sit tight!”
“No, you shut the f%*! up,” The boy countered.

The mother reached back and smacked the boy, causing the car to swerve a little. Suddenly she slammed on the breaks!

“What is it now?” The boy asked. He was looking in the opposite direction at some toy stores.
“Cover your fucking eyes, James! Right now! You too, Maria!” the woman panicked.
“Huh?” The boy ignored the demand and looked, seeing Emily in the distance.
“Hey, I have one of those,” the daughter joked as she looked at the lower part of the body.
“And you have one of those,” the son joked as he looked at her upper torso.

Just then, the woman reached back and smacked both of them in the face, following with the paddle to their behinds. They cried and lamented. While the kids were distracted, she slammed the gas and sped off.

Emily and the man next to her took notice of this. Emily didn’t understand what that was about, but the man decided to end their conversation.

“Well, it’s been fun talking to you,” he said very quickly, “But I got to go!”
“Ok, she responded. Bye.”

After the man left, she continued to watch the American reporter on the TV.
“Tragedies rank at an all-time high,” the American reporter reported.

A man has bombed the local Child Protective Services building yesterday. Detectives have surmised that his father knew Timothy McVeigh and considered the possibility of a link. It is unclear as to whether he was taught by McVeigh himself, or learned this terrorist skill on his own. Sadly there are no survivors. In light of this act of evil, no children were in the building at the time of the bombing. Police are currently not releasing the identity of this man, but we do have a video of his arrest.”

“Give me my son back!” the bomber said, handcuffed and pulled toward the police car.
“You’re not hurting that child ever again!” the officer quickly returned.
“What do you know? There’s no way to verify what happens behind closed doors. A report gets made and there’s no investigation to back it up? CPS is evil! Corrupt! Money and power hungry!” The bomber spoke as fast as he could to get his point out before it was too late.
“Shut up, scumbag,” another police officer said to the bomber, as he tucked the man into the car.
“You don’t believe me? Google it!”

The video ended and the reporter resumed her report.

“Authorities say that if anyone feels that there is some kind of government corruption that comes to their attention, please report it to them and they will investigate it.”

The phone rang.

“Fox news.”
“Yes, my name is Tiffany and I’d like to say something,” the caller cut the reporter off before she could finish her greeting.
“Certainly, Tiffany. What’s on your mind?”
“I’d like to say that I am tired of all the government conspiracies I’m hearing about. These are just a bunch of crazy nuts who are trying to get attention. Our founding fathers were the greatest people the world has ever known. And this has always been the best country in the world. There’s no way our government could be corrupt in any way.”

“Maybe so, Tiffany, but have you considered looking up what he suggested?”
“Hell no! I’m not wasting my time looking into made-up crap. I have better things to do with my life.”
“Thank you, Tiffany.”

The phone rang again.

“Fox news, this is Mary. What’s on your mind today?”

“My name’s Tom and I’d have to agree with Tiffany.”
“Do you have anything to add to that, Tom?”
“Yea, I’m glad they caught that terrorist and child abuser. There’s nothing in the world more evil then people like him. Not even the devil! It’s a miracle that we have honorable organizations like CPS. What would the future of our proud nation be like if people were aloud to abuse their children?”

“Violent and grim, I’m sure,” agreed the reporter.

Ultimately, the reporter seemed to have some kind of ‘acting’ atmosphere about herself, but no one seemed to catch on.

In recent events, the bomber has been identified as Wallace Truman. This information is coming in live. Onto you, Benjamin.”

“Thank you, Mary,” he returned, “This just in, a meteor is on its way to the jail where Truman is being held. It’s as if God himself is demanding justice personally.”

The video shown the sky swell red and within seconds, an explosion occurs in the distance.
“I’m on my way there now, Mary,” the other reporter stated as he frantically approached the van, “Back to you!”

“We don’t have a cam on site at the moment, but reports are flooding in that the prison staff has escaped. Some suffered minor injured, but otherwise are in stable condition. However, they did not have time to evacuate the prisoners. They are all presumed dead, including Truman.”

The phone rang.

“Fox news, this is Mary. What’s on your mind,” the reporter reiterated.
“I used to be an atheist.”
“Thank you, sir, but does this have any relevance to this issue?”
“Yes. I used to be an atheist, but after what just happened to that child abuser, I know there’s a God now. There’s just no way around it! It can’t possibly be a coincidence.”
“Maybe so, sir. Hopefully God is watching over the good people of this nation. But what about the prisoners that were trapped in the building?”
“What about them? They’re scum. Even though I agree with Tiffany and Tom about the righteousness of our government, I think they’re idiots.”
“How so, sir.”
“Why do they even waste money on jails and prisons? All the thieves, murderers and sex offenders are nothing but parasites that prey on good people. They don’t get rehabilitated. They learn from each other in prison and get worse. You don’t hear about evil people killing evil people. There’s nothing wrong with that. But what you do hear about is evil people teaming up with evil people and then stealing from, raping or murdering good people. All prison is is a training ground for evil. That’s all it accomplishes.”

“Thank you for your input. That’s not a common thing most people think about.”

“Well, they should. How much money do you think we could keep out of our own paychecks if the government was more financially responsible? How much less would our children starve in this dire economy?”

She hung up.

The news switched back to the rerun portion of what Emily failed to notice while the man was talking to her at the window.

“The hacker and terrorist epidemic is at an all-time high,” the news reporter on the TV said.
“Unfortunately so,” her co-host said, “The RFID chip that has kept our streets safe from violent criminals is now being turned against us. In frenzied panic, citizens are digging the chip out of their skin in fear of hackers triggering its lethal dose of cyanide. Unfortunately, the chip has a sensor that detects that behavior and releases the cyanide automatically upon interference.”

“People are spontaneously dying before our eyes!” Mary resumed, “It is believed that American hackers are attempting to reduce the population to improve the job market. Twenty percent of Americans are employed, and the citizens are getting desperate to fend for their families. Worse yet, terrorist hackers have taken cue and have raised the death toll from the 300,000 to 4,000,000.”

The phone rang again. It was the same anomonous caller.

“See what I mean. Those worthless criminals don’t care about anybody but themselves. They would happily destroy our entire country and all its history just for a buck. They are the cancer of society.”

“Thank you, sir. Onto you, Benjamin.” Her voice in response to the caller was bland and had a redundant sound to it. It was clear that the reporter wasn’t saying everything she wanted to say.

“I’m almost to the scene of the incident, Mary.” As he approached, the police wouldn’t let him in, keeping him behind the ambulances.

Emily was tuned into the TV, until she heard some yelling.
“Hey, what the bloody hell do you think you’re doing!” The cop yelled as he was running up to her.
“Just watching this news. I’m not trying to break into anything, I swear!”
“I’m not talking about that.”

Emily was tucked into the police car.

In her jail cell, the guard approached.
“Your trial is in a couple days. Make yourself comfortable.”

So, she started taking her clothes off.

“What the hell are you doing? Stop that!” the woman in uniform demanded.
“But you said to make myself comfortable…” Emily honestly returned.
“Uh!” the guard grunted as she stepped away, “Damn nudists!”

“What is your deal?” her cellmate lamented.

She turned and looked.

“Well, she said…” Emily responded.

“Are you kidding me?” The cellmate attacked. “How is being naked any way comfortable? You’d have to be mad to expose yourself like that. Where’s your dignity?”
“Where’s yours?” Emily jumped, “How is it dignified if you have to hide your own skin. That sounds like shame to me.”

The cellmate’s fist clenched.

“You bloody bitch!”

“Hey, knock it off in there!” a prison guard warned.

Emily simply sat still, relaxed and breathed carefully. She didn’t classify her behavior as mediating, but that’s really what she was doing. To her, this was just a natural means of relaxing and being at peace with oneself. She did this for hours in the cell.

At some point, the cell mate became irritated.
“Would you stop that shit! It’s creeping me out.”
“Why don’t you try it?” Emily suggested.
“I’m not wasting my time acting like some dorky monk.”
“Wasting what time. Have you forgotten where you’re at?”

The cell mate got up and approached Emily from behind. Then she swung at her, but Emily heard the sound of the disrupted air, caught the fist, and flipped her over.

“What are you, some man with a sex change?”
“Who would ever be insecure with their sexuality enough to do something like that?”
“Crazy people,” the cellmate responded. “Like you nudists!”

“That’s enough!” came a prison guard running up to the cell, “I’ve about had it with you two!”
More people were coming.

“I didn’t do it! You got the wrong woman!” a voice echoed, the sound increasing.
Another guard escorted a woman to her cell.
“Play nice.” The guard joked as he turned and walked away.
The new prisoner was Alice, whom Emily met at the beach.
“I’m serious!”
“We’ll see when the DNA testing comes back.”
The guards left.
“April!” Came Emily’s surprise.
“Emily, what are you doing here?” responded her friend.
“Oh, great, another crazy nudist.”
“What are you in here for,” April asked the other cell mate.
“I drove a screwdriver through some bitch’s eye.”
“That’s horrible!” Emily jumped, “What pushed you to do something like that?”
“Bitch was talking shit.”
“Emily…” Alice said with a tone of disappointment, “What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything. Honest. I was just watching TV and a police officer came out of nowhere and arrested me.”
“She was naked in public,” the cell mate interrupted.
“Well, that’s the way it is,” April said until interrupted.
“It is what it is,” the other cell mate said. They both ignored her.
“But…” Alice continued, “With prudes like your friend here believing in stomping out natural freedom, people will always be punished and criticized for ‘doing nothing’, I’m afraid.”

The other cell mate rolled her eyes.

This post has been edited by Barnard: Feb 15 2012, 04:54 PM

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post Feb 24 2012, 12:52 PM
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The Pure Naturist continues to grow with this continuation of the plot. New developments have been made such as the fact that the other cell mate at the end of the previous excerpt now has a name: Justice. The story is starting to get closer to introducing the concept of magick and a few additional themes: Wicca, homosexuality and political unrest. There are many misconceptions between nudism, homosexuality, and Wicca and this part of the story addresses them. Additionally, the plot draws closer to reuniting Emily with long forgotten family. I don't doubt that most members on this board aren't nudists but in this story, nudism and magick go hand in hand with eachother and the continuation of the plot proves how. So without further ado:

“So what’s with the Steven Gough?” April asked.
“The Steven…Who?” Emily asked, confused.
“Steven Gough, you know. That Royal Marine who quit his job and went hiking somewhere in the nude?”

They talked for what Justice perceived as hours over this mysterious man, the criminalization of innocent nudity, and the rest of world culture.

“Enough is enough!” the aggressive cell mate jumped.

They both looked at her.

“What is this? Pre-School? I’m tired of hearing about these history lessons, culture crap and all your filthy nudist ****!”
“Who’s filthier? The human body, or textiles whose body and skin health is compromised by their constant wearing of clothes.”
“*****, my clothes have nothing to do with my health!”
“Oh yea? You might be changing your clothes 3 times a day, but you still have dead material entombing your skin. ”
The argument went on for the same amount of time as the original conversation.

“I said knock it off!!!” The prison guard was a man, banging on the bars. They ignored him. They got louder as the guard continued to bang on the bars. Suddenly the cellmate lunged at April, while Emily stood with her back against the wall, irritated beyond her deepest frustration.

The wall crumbled, exposing the outside. Justice looked and immediately bolted.

Emily turned around.

“Wait!” called out April, “If you run, they’ll be hunting you. You don’t have long here. Just wait it out!”
“What about you?”
“I’m innocent. They mistook me for a killer. When they find out they have the wrong girl, they’ll let me go.”

Emily heeded her advice and stayed put as the guards secured the hole. There was only one male guard.

“Having shown the Justice System respect by restraining yourself and as this was your first incidence of indecent exposure, I hereby drop the charges against Emily Porter. Case dismissed.” The judge was so casual in his speaking; he seemed bored out of his mind in the courtroom.

Emily sat back down and waited for her friend’s trial.

“April Helmsy, approach the bench.”

April abided.

“As we have verified that you were falsely accused of being the murderer Olivia Brakaster through DNA evidence, I hereby release you from custody and drop all charges.”
“Thank you, you’re honor.”
“Don’t thank me, I’m doing my job.”
“Yes, your honor, thanks.”

“So what do you think about that wall caving?” April asked as they were walking out the court room.
“I’m not sure…” Emily said, having discreet thoughts and theories.
“I saw how tough you are, but I don’t think you’re that tough.”

Emily paused.

“Like in pushing it out with your back.”
“Think we should ask someone?”
“I got a better idea.”

She pulled out a newspaper from a nearby dispenser after putting $5 in. The paper detailed that the wall appeared to cave in from its own weight. Building inspectors are studying the area for faulty structure. But there is no evidence of it being pushed, pulled or assaulted in any way.

“So where are you off to?” April asked in preparation of parting.
“Back to the woods, I guess. It’s the only place I fit in. These people don’t want me around.”
“No, it’s just the nudity that they don’t want around.”
“Nudity is part of who I am!” Emily exclaimed, “It’s who we all are under these miserable clothes. It’s just that the rest of this culture can’t see this. Did you see how miserable that judge looked?”

“Judges are always miserable. It’s part of the job,” April quickly returned.
“So you see how I have no place in this world?”

Those words sounded like suicidal thinking to April, even though Emily really meant the world of human culture.

“Look, come crash at my place. Until society wakes up, we have to hide.”

They talked a little longer until Emily finally agreed.

“If you’ll let me enjoy my humanity in your home…and I suppose you probably want your clothes back.”
“Nah, you keep them.” April protested. You have to wear something before the dogs start chasing?”
“The prudes?” Emily wondered.
“No, the horny textile men.”

They approached April’s car.
“But there is something…” April paused, “…something you need to know about me.”

Emily paused.

“I’m a lesbian,” April continued with hesitation.
“Is there supposed to be something wrong with that? I’ve heard about homosexual people. They seem harmless, unless I am mistaken...”
“No, no, no…” April quickly returned, “You’re right, we are harmless, which is why the nudist and homosexual community has respect for each other. We share similar adversity and understand what it means to be outcast.”

After the drive home, they entered the house and mutually freed themselves.
“So have you always been lesbian?” Emily questioned, trying to be respectful.
“Don’t be so timid,” April consoled, “My lesbianism is something that I have come to terms with. In fact, I’m quite proud to be who I am, just as you are proud to be independent.”
“There never really was any kind of pride for me,” Emily responded neutrally, “My life has always just been a normal part of nature.”
“That would probably be because pride as it exists today is a cultural concept.”
“If your definition of pride is appreciation for something good a person has or is, then I am proud of my senses. I’m proud that I can walk, run, swim and climb. I’m proud that I’m breathing. I’m proud that I can have sex, urinate…”

April cut her off.

“Ok, ok,” April interrupted with laughter, “I get it.”

Emily recognized the sarcasm.

“Hey it’s ok,” April assured.
“So, about…”
“I used to be straight, as they say. I hate that word.” April resumed.
“Why’s that?”
“Straight implies correctness. The opposite of straight is crooked, or in my case homosexual.”
“I see. Never thought of it that way.”
“Most people don’t, including homosexuals. But as I was saying, I used to be heterosexual, until I got fed up with men.”
“But I saw you lying down next to a man at the beach. I assumed he was your husband.”
“Husband? That man is gay! It’s how we get along so comfortably. See what happens when you assume? You make an *** out of you and me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s a joke, I’ll explain it later.”
“So you get along with women and gay men, but you hate heterosexual men?”
“Oh no, not at all. I could get along with heterosexual men just as easily as my friend I shared the blanket with…”

April paused as she rethought that statement and its possible implications. Emily did not catch on to the implications. It was just natural to her.

“…but heterosexual men as a majority just don’t understand what it means to respect a woman. They see me, and all they see is ***.”
“If it’s that important to them, can’t they just get that from each other?” Emily inquired.
“They do. In fact, there’s a local rape gang the police are trying to catch.”
“Oh my?” Emily panicked.
“Oh, you don’t have to worry. They only rape men. In fact, two months ago, they jumped a married couple and pushed the woman away.”
“That’s still really horrible!”
“Yea. Homosexuals are still suffering maltreatment, and that gang is fuel for the fire.”
“Not that I’m hoping that they’ll become more versatile, but why only men?”
“Same reason I’m only intimate with women. They’re strictly gay. Not all gay men are like that, you’ve seen that at the beach.”
“That’s a relief, at least. Was there something that caused homosexuality to become more common?”
“Yea, the same culture that preaches body shame. As it gets more senseless, men and women keep getting more incompatible. The brainwashing that my Gramps was talking about preaches that men wear more clothing, and women wear less.”
“I’ve seen that!” Emily quickly responded. “I never did understand why men wear shorts that look like pants in preparation of a flood, and they wear pants that cover their shoes. I understand that the loose effect of the baggy shirts and pants can help more air flow, but why wear anything at all if you’re hot?”

“People are disgusted by the genitals.”
“What’s so disgusting about them? It’s just flesh and skin and it’s still there whether they see it or not. If they are so ashamed of those petty things, they can cut those members off. It would probably be healthier than suffocating their skin all the time.”

April laughed, followed by Emily.

“All joking aside,” April continued, “I don’t hate men in general. To do so is narrow minded. But I get offended by their spontaneous remarks like ‘hey baby’ or ‘let’s see some ***.’ Some of these men are downright repulsive. But our culture promotes sluttiness in men, but condemns the same thing in women. I will not be some tool and ornament. I am my own person.”

“Not all men are like that. As group-minded as cultural people are, no group could possibly have members that are all alike.”

“True, but there is one factor that is extremely persistent in men, and you could probably guess what that is.”

“They over prioritize sex,” Emily knew it from what she’s seen so far in this culture. Additionally, she flashed back to when the male wolves pursued the female wolf in the woods, “Much worse than the animals in the woods.”

“I don’t have much for a sex drive,” April continued, “The mind control of culture programs them to that extreme. So now they see a woman and they think sex, sex, sex. With men programmed that way, and women programmed just the opposite, men have become so incompatible with women that they often pay for sex.”

“That’s so pitiful!!!” Emily’s response was quick, but sympathetic, “I really feel sorry for those men.”
“Oh, they’re not even ashamed of it,” April continued, “They feel proud that they were able to get some *** one way or another. That’s just another part of this twisted culture. Women get ridiculed as men get applauded for doing the same thing.”

“That’s even more pitiful,” Emily sighed, feeling great remorse for the opposite gender.

“And that, Emily, is why I am a lesbian,” April concluded, “It’s the most self-respecting kind of orientation a woman can be these days.”

Chapter 6: Reunion

The next day, April was on her laptop.

“Thank you for letting me stay,” Emily said as she approached.
“It’s no problem,” then she looked at her new friend, “Why did you spend most of your life in the woods?”
“It’s always been my home.”
“But what about your parents? Not your foster parents, but your real parents. Do you talk to them?”
“I’ve never known them,” Emily Lamented.
“I’m going to show you a nifty little thing about the internet, a little something called People Search.”

And so they browsed for a bit until something stopped them.

“Damn!” April complained, “Internet’s down again. It does this all the time.”

Emily wondered if it was just not meant to be.

“Why don’t you go to the local University. They have computers with better internet service.”
“Thank you, April. I’ll do that.”

Emily got dressed and stepped outside. She walked along the side of the apartment. Houses were a rare sight due to frequent foreclosures. After she walked just past the building, a man’s voice spoke casually to her.

“Good afternoon, Miss Porter.”

She turned around. The man looked partially Hispanic, and his attention was clearly directed to her. His speaking seemed very sophisticated. He was standing next to the very wall she just walked passed.

“Do I know you?”
“I am Jay Raptor,” the man said, his tone still casual.
“How do you know me?”
“There is little that escapes me, Miss Porter,” he returned, “But it doesn’t help your anonymity to have your incarceration publicized in the newspaper.”
“So they put me in the spotlight as an example?”
“To the rest of the sheep, yes,” Jay responded.

Emily was surprised to hear him use that terminology. The brainwashed rarely recognize themselves as brainwashed. But this man, like her, did not seem to manifest himself into the uniformity of culture.

“They are not concerned with the inmate’s soiled reputation or the damnation of their chances of employment,” Jay continued, “This often results in increased crime.”

Emily paused, thinking of the immorality of this.
“So they feel that if the system rejects them, then it’s only fair that they rebel against the system”, Emily returned.

“Evil breeds evil, Miss Porter. Do not let yourself be corrupted by your…specialties.” Jay was straightforward, but his suggestion was vague,”

Emily flashed back to when the jail wall crumbled.

“Good day, Miss Porter.”

It was clear that he ended the conversation, so she stepped off. She looked back, but the man had disappeared just as mysteriously as he had appeared.

Meanwhile, in the offended woman’s house, the kids came through the door. The woman erupted like a volcano.

“James!!!” The mother burst.
“What!!!” the boy mouthed off.
“What is this **** about the school telling me you brought porn to school?”
“Oh, yea,” the boy announced proudly, “I downloaded it off the internet and showed it to my friends. I’m the cool kid in school now.”
“How the hell does that make you cool?”
“Because it’s bad. And bad is in.”

The woman snapped to her feet and practically threw herself at her son. He got a spanking and sent to bed.

“I hate mom!” the boy said to his sister over a cell phone in his room.
“I know, right? She’s such a *****!”
“Hey…” James said more quietly.
“Yeah?” his sister responded.
“You want to piss her off? Really piss off Mom?”
“Yeah!” she responded enthusiastically.
“Shhhhhhh!” he quickly returned to remind of the need to be quiet.

Minutes later, the woman fell out of her chair to see her daughter chasing her son through the house naked. They were both laughing.

Emily approached the University. She browsed around, looking for signs to lead her to her intended destination.

The children had been crying again, clearly reintroduced to the paddal. But now they have recovered.

“Mom, why did we really leave America? And when is Daddy coming home.”

“Because it’s gotten stupid there!” She was irritated.

“But you’re stupid, so what’s the difference!”

The woman erupted again. Arguing ensued for about 10 minutes.

“When’s Daddy coming home!” the boy repeated, even more frustrated.

“He’s not!”

The boy and girl froze.

“Your Daddy is not on deployment! He was killed by the very people he swore to defend. People right back there in America who hacked his chip.”

It was a shocking revelation that they were not prepared for. They remained frozen. Members of the military were the first to be outfitted with the RFID chip.


This post has been edited by Barnard: Feb 24 2012, 12:56 PM

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