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 Ten Ways to Piss Off a Wiccan
+ Kinjo -
post Dec 11 2004, 03:40 PM
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1. Ask them if they are Satan worshippers.
2. Be considerate, rearrange their altar so it will look neat.
3. Blow out their altar candle if it is still daylight. (No need to waste a good candle!)
4. Pick up their gems for a closer look.
5. Sharpen their dull, black-handled knife.
6. Witness to them about the 'One True Religion'.
7. Untie the knots in their cord.
8. Take hold of their jewelry for a closer look.
9. Play card games with their Tarot deck.
10. Ask them if they are Satan worshippers.


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The Black Devil
post Jul 20 2005, 09:35 AM
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I'll give that a try if i happen to find any wiccans. But has anyone that has visited this page ever been very offended by this and left the site and never returned?


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SlowLoris
post Jul 21 2005, 03:02 AM
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How, pray tell, would you know?

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bym
post Jul 21 2005, 06:02 AM
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Hence the title...Tongue in Cheek Magick, Black Devil...it's a joke!
Good one SlowLoris! *chuckle*


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Athena
post Jul 21 2005, 07:35 AM
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QUOTE(| Kinjo @ Dec 11 2004, 09:40 PM)
1. Ask them if they are Satan worshippers.
2. Be considerate, rearrange their altar so it will look neat.
3. Blow out their altar candle if it is still daylight. (No need to waste a good candle!)
4. Pick up their gems for a closer look.
5. Sharpen their dull, black-handled knife.
6. Witness to them about the 'One True Religion'.
7. Untie the knots in their cord.
8. Take hold of their jewelry for a closer look.
9. Play card games with their Tarot deck.
10. Ask them if they are Satan worshippers.


I have had 1,4,7,8,9 and 10 all happen to me, as well as #11, place a beer can on their alter since it is conveniently close by! So yeah I would say any of those work to piss off a practitioner of magic.

Athena


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Athena
post Jul 21 2005, 07:38 AM
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QUOTE(The Black Devil @ Jul 20 2005, 03:35 PM)
I'll give that a try if i happen to find any wiccans. But has anyone that has visited this page ever been very offended by this and left the site and never returned?


Dude, you need a new hobby or something.

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Radiant Star
post Jul 26 2005, 04:37 AM
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QUOTE
I'll give that a try if i happen to find any wiccans. But has anyone that has visited this page ever been very offended by this and left the site and never returned?


A sense of humour is one of the most valued of my mental possessions and indeed it was often used in the war as a way of trying to keep sanity when things were really bad.

I think to take a joke so personally would indicate that a person had a problem - and it would be very unlikely to have anything to do with a joke, that would only be an indication that things were not going well in their minds.

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Saintgeorge
post Jul 27 2005, 07:56 AM
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You forgot to add, `ask them to tell your fortune',
and `do you have a love charm'.
LOL.


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GeNoCyDe
post Jul 27 2005, 09:43 AM
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And spellbeg,then whine for hours if it dosen't work.


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9-2-2
post Jul 28 2005, 07:16 PM
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1) Play Texas Hold'em on a grimy table with your grimy friends... with their tarot cards!
2) "Why's my altar cloth smelly?!" "Well, it's YOUR fault you forgot to buy toilet paper..."
3) Use their magickal herbs to spice their dinner.
4) Shave their cat familiar.
5) Use their athame as a toothpick. Yeehaw! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/13.gif)
6) Mow their herb garden.
7) Tailor their expensive robes into a two-piece set: shirt and pants. "You shouldn't wear pajamas all day!" (I actually was told this by some tard)
8) Pass out drunk on their altar. Pre / post vomiting and urination, whichever you choose.

... actually, now that I think about it, these are the things that would piss ME off if it happened to me... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rofl.gif)


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Soror LVX
post Aug 13 2005, 07:49 AM
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Smell all potions with wrinkled nose asking what on earth they have put in it.
Rub your tired feet with their sacred oil and comment on its anti fungal properties!!

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Ashnook
post Aug 13 2005, 09:08 AM
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QUOTE(Radiant Star @ Jul 26 2005, 04:37 AM)
QUOTE
I'll give that a try if i happen to find any wiccans. But has anyone that has visited this page ever been very offended by this and left the site and never returned?


A sense of humour is one of the most valued of my mental possessions and indeed it was often used in the war as a way of trying to keep sanity when things were really bad.

I think to take a joke so personally would indicate that a person had a problem - and it would be very unlikely to have anything to do with a joke, that would only be an indication that things were not going well in their minds.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/ac42.gif)


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gavriel
post Sep 4 2005, 11:02 PM
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Are you kidding? i play card games with my tarot cards all the time! Normal cards are SO boring. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sleeping_.gif) And some of those potions and oils DO have great antifungal properties. Ya gotta have fun with it!

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UnKnown1
post Jul 21 2006, 08:54 PM
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QUOTE(| Kinjo @ Dec 11 2004, 05:40 PM) *
1. Ask them if they are Satan worshippers.
2. Be considerate, rearrange their altar so it will look neat.
3. Blow out their altar candle if it is still daylight. (No need to waste a good candle!)
4. Pick up their gems for a closer look.
5. Sharpen their dull, black-handled knife.
6. Witness to them about the 'One True Religion'.
7. Untie the knots in their cord.
8. Take hold of their jewelry for a closer look.
9. Play card games with their Tarot deck.
10. Ask them if they are Satan worshippers.



11 Call them tree huggers.
12 Tell them about Jesus.
13 Show them the Bible verse "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."
14 Explain to them that the 3 fold law is very obviously [email protected]
15 Tell them how Aliester Crowley invented witchcraft so in actuallity they are all phony.
16 Steal thier Horned God Idol and replace it with a vibrating dildo.
17 Say "Oh U are a witch? Thats totally weak."
18 Cut the pages out of thier Book of Shadows and replace the inside with The New Testament.
19 Spray paint "Witches are [email protected] on thier mini van.
20 Take a dump on their altar and draw a big smiley face saying Jesus Loves U.

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diana
post Aug 15 2006, 01:53 PM
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i did 15. and 'witch' in question turned to Thelema (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rofl.gif)


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UnKnown1
post Aug 15 2006, 03:36 PM
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QUOTE(diana @ Aug 15 2006, 03:53 PM) *
i did 15. and 'witch' in question turned to Thelema (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rofl.gif)



It is fairly well known that Crowley invented the rituals of Gardenerian Witchcraft. Gardner's Witchcraft was the parent of all modern witchcraft.

Here is a link http://www.sacred-texts.com/bos/bos352.htm

Peace.

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babymystry
post Sep 8 2006, 05:14 PM
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QUOTE(smasher666 @ Jul 21 2006, 10:54 PM) *
11 Call them tree huggers.
12 Tell them about Jesus.
13 Show them the Bible verse "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."
14 Explain to them that the 3 fold law is very obviously [email protected]
15 Tell them how Aliester Crowley invented witchcraft so in actuallity they are all phony.
16 Steal thier Horned God Idol and replace it with a vibrating dildo.
17 Say "Oh U are a witch? Thats totally weak."
18 Cut the pages out of thier Book of Shadows and replace the inside with The New Testament.
19 Spray paint "Witches are [email protected] on thier mini van.
20 Take a dump on their altar and draw a big smiley face saying Jesus Loves U.


lmao on #19! Although, I don't have a minivan. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/egypt1.gif)

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amongthehidden
post Jul 26 2010, 07:57 AM
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11 Call them tree huggers.

That's my official nickname.. cuz I am a tree-hugger anyways. Although I wouldn't call myself a total wiccan.. I'm ecletic I guess, I mix wicca and other pagan beliefs.. nobody said I can't!


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Goibniu
post Jul 26 2010, 08:40 PM
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QUOTE(smasher666 @ Aug 15 2006, 05:36 PM) *

It is fairly well known that Crowley invented the rituals of Gardenerian Witchcraft. Gardner's Witchcraft was the parent of all modern witchcraft.

Here is a link http://www.sacred-texts.com/bos/bos352.htm

Peace.


Old thread, but just thought I'd mention that this idea has been disproved. There is a certain amount of Crowley within the writing of the early BOS, the so called Ye Bok of Ye Art Magical. However, Doreen Valiente and others gradually expunged most of it. Gerald Gardner sometimes said that the tradition he inherited was fragmented and so he filled in the blanks with material from Crowley, the Golden Dawn or the Goetia. Other times he didn't say that the tradition was fragmented, but he had taken oaths of secrecy and so he rewrote the rituals while keeping in mind the principles of magic.

The answer isn't as simplistic as some people have tried to make it seem. There seems to be a lot of dislike of Gerald Gardner and the portrayal of him as being an out and out fraud. Allen Greenfield is out of date and didn't do enough research. I think that the answer isn't quite so black and white. If you want to study this further you might want to read Philip Heselton's Wiccan Roots: Gerald Gardner and the Modern
Witchcraft Revival and Gerald Gardner and the Cauldron of Inspiration. Actually I think he has another book out since then.

By the way, the best way to piss of a wiccan is if you are 16 years old (or less) and claim to be a third degree witch queen from the Pink Unicorn tradition and you initiated yourself.


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☞Tomber☜
post Aug 11 2010, 12:36 PM
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they shouldn't have their gear out to be seen in the first place let alone have anyone touch them. I don't believe in the validity of wicca
but if they get mad about this I suppose they should focus on whatever is their equivalent to a middle pillar way of life


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7024
post Sep 29 2010, 01:53 AM
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I would've done some of this if I haven't broke up with her already (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif).

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啩LE帲!
post Sep 10 2011, 08:32 PM
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I have an ex-girlfriend who was wiccan herbalist (basically more of a gourmet tea brewer with the occasional love and sex spells). So I want to add some to the list for the irony of it.

11) Use their altar chalice to drink beer, then throw it in the sink.
12) Use their Robe as a bath-towell.
13) Snatch their "How to be a Green Witch" book, read a sentence, then toss it on the ground saying "agh! Hogwash!"
14) Whenever they come home from work, say "there's that witch who fornicated with the devil! arrest her!"
15) Remind her of how they process animals in a slaughterhouse.
16) Tell her that Stonehenge was not made use of by peace-loving hippies.
17) If she casted a sex spell, or something that you know was directed toward you, because you wouldn't get on it the night before, approach her and say "man, for some reason I feel like my testicles are are being twisted off by the grip of a wrech or something... What the hell?"
18) If you smoke cigarettes, pick up the candle to light your cigarette, then use the face of her altar as an ashtray.
Added; 19) Tell her in the morning you had a dream about her, but she had a green tinge to her face, that she had warts, and one tooth, and that she was laughing hysterically, then she pulled out a broom and rode to the sabbat, and that it scared you very much.

This post has been edited by 啩LE帲!: Sep 10 2011, 08:45 PM


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His mighty wings high upon a northern Star,
"How long must I suffer, how must I pent?"
And I recieved an answer; "conquer all, my beloved brother, God-sent."

"Only then ye be free of your enemies,
Grossly, heavy, ruddy, and brute,
Thou must join us in Mighty Work
So quicken thyself and behold the Absolute."

Brushing myself off, I took up a Garment,
Seven-fold in essence,
Celestial in root.

"I have become reborn, oh God the Author.
I have glimpsed Thy Veins, Thy Marrow, Thy Face,
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I have obtained Thy Red Lion, from the muck of Thy Vase!"

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Harkadenn
post Sep 13 2011, 01:50 PM
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Hope on a broom and get a stick and shout out loud *EXPELLIARMUS!* while pointing at him/her.

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fatherjhon
post Jan 9 2012, 01:43 PM
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Old thread but this just happened to me and it was too good not to post. The background is that I use a wood chest and narrow table as an alter and pack my things up into the chest when not in use.


20) Use their alter to prop up a bookcase so they can spray paint it, because "I was decorating, and you didn't need this old box anyway".


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This inner light appears to be outside and to illumine external objects.

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Barnard
post Feb 1 2012, 10:45 PM
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QUOTE(The Black Devil @ Jul 20 2005, 10:35 AM) *

I'll give that a try if i happen to find any wiccans. But has anyone that has visited this page ever been very offended by this and left the site and never returned?

If they did, they are overly sensitive and may have a rocky road through life.


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