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 | Category: Exploits
entry Mar 29 2011, 04:54 PM
For sometime now the karma I have been transmuting has hardly seemed worth the effort. At the start the karma I was dealing with was physically painful and represented episodes in my life that were traumatic and involved. Now the worst I get is the time I was awkward and brisk with an associate. I take this to mean that I am making progress. After transmuting bad karma am not effected by it, the circumstance that made it, or the memory of it. I am able to remember but the emotions of the event are gone, simple facts remain. I am changed by it though, the emotions are integrated into my being still there but insignificant on their own. However, it left me thinking about what happens after all my bad karma is transmuted. Karma is karma, good or bad it holds us down. What will I do when I get to good karma? The crap I deal with from bad karma I want to leave behind, but the good? A lovely kind old man just came up and handed me a gift card for giving him "a chuckle" about his fancy tea cup he brought to the cafe. The one woman I have ever felt enough about to have a two year long relationship with brings me happiness every time I think of her. Do I want to let them become simple facts?

I started transmuting karma because for fifteen years I was racking it up by the day until my life was too hard to live and anything became better than what it was. Now it is better, far better. I have little issue with transmuting good karma, I only worry about my memories, the things that I drive worth from, well they still be there? I don't know.

But the more I think about it, I become curious what I can do with these new integrated and transmuted chunks of karma. If they are sill part of me as I have been lead to behave surly the emotions can be summoned to match them as well. I have a feeling that is defeating the purpose of transmuting karma, but if it is attachment that spawns karma and attachment is merely the clinging to things, then the experiences unveiled so to speak should still resonate with me even though it has been made simple fact. In this way I hope to rid myself of karma while avoiding a bland internal life.

That to me is important for I view it as just another sort of attachment, this time not to things but to a condition of mind and spirit. I often hear how in taoist and buddhist practice, not thinking is a very important prerequisite to reunite with the Tao and Buddha respectively. That is all fine and good, but if you have to not think to find satisfaction and happiness then you are reliant on shutting out part of you. Instead of relying on attachment to make you happy you rely on non-attachment. I have heard arguments that say the satisfaction is better and more lasting then that of attachment, but that simply means you view the two in worldly terms of good and bad. I no longer find use in that. Perhaps it is simply the commentaries I am reading but there should be a way to uncouple value from experience, so that no Karma is accumulated and the quintessence of life is not lost.

There are of course other traditions that claim this- zen most notably- but they also require you to practice some technique to do so and therefore are relent on them. More often than not the technique is non-attachment and not thinking.

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